There are moments when we feel completely defeated with no way through. One of those moments brought me here.

I was working in community mental health, while still working as a corporate coach. A client found me outside the system. I invited her in. She opened up in a way she hadn't been able to anywhere else. Said things she'd never said to anyone.

The system required I refer her on. There was no room for nuance. So I did.

Three weeks later, she died by suicide.

A woman who tried so hard to help herself.

What her death clarified for me is that courage alone isn't enough. She had it. She found her way to support on her own terms. And yet there were closed doors, uncertainty, and not knowing where to turn or who to reach toward.

I know. I lived it.

The fog was real. It was hard to know where it started or what was causing it. Slowly things became clearer. Not all at once. But enough to take the next step - toward the right people, toward honesty, toward what I actually needed.

When support wasn’t available internally, I reached outward, encouraged colleagues to do the same, and initiated debriefs with management. Some parts responded. Some did not.

What stayed with me was this: staying grounded under pressure, taking responsibility for myself, and engaging the system without losing clarity or integrity. That's not just what I did. It's what leadership requires right now.

She ignited something in me - the courage to stay with my feelings and look after myself, even when things around me went quiet. Over time, I found ground.

Every leader I work with is navigating their own version of this - complexity, fog, self-blame, systems that don't always hold, and the reaching toward what's needed. The capacity to stay steady, stay relational and keep going without losing themselves.

This is what I help leaders build.

What drives my work is holding complexity, working with what’s real, and never losing sight of the human in the middle of it.

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To be clear, my work is leadership coaching - not therapy. The depth of what I bring comes from my training and my experience. But the container I offer is coaching. If clinical support is needed, I will always say so and point toward it.

If this story has brought something up for you, Standby Suicide are there - 1300 727 247 - standby.org.au. Lifeline are fantastic support too - 13 11 14 - lifeline.org.au